Been hooked on the De-Lovely soundtrack.

There's so many things about that movie I could fix if I were a co-director or sumfin. The story is great, artistic touches are promising at some parts, but there's a lot of things in that movie that are way untasteful and boring. I think I could fix that. I just see so many open doors, it has the potential to be such an amazing movie, like Chicago or Moulin Rouge. But... it doesn't artistically make use of all that potential. Seriously.

It just seems like a bunch of great songs with a story roughly thrown into it... it's supposed to be the other way around, but they don't pull it off very well. And Kevin Kline can't sing for crap. I'm sorry, maybe he's doing it on purpose - but he makes the movie really painful to watch and listen to.

I want to like De-Lovely, cause I love Cole Porter's songs - but there's just so many things about it I keep criticizing no matter how hard I try not to.

I think Robbie Williams saved my life in that movie. I would've died of boredom if Kevin Kline kept singing. Cole Porter wasn't the best singer either, but he had so much character in his voice. Something Mr. Kline seriously lacks.

I stop criticizing Kevin Kline, now... as an individual, he isn't that bad. Just, they could've at leasted dubbed his singing voice or something.

Holy shit... I have a lot of page views. Thanks to anyone who's reading this.

It's been half an hour and the tears are still coming.

I haven't been bothering with my physical appearance much...

No make-up... despite my looking into the mirror and seeing something ugly... I just tell myself that's me, and hope I'm loved for it...

Half an hour...

But I'm not done for the night yet.

So much longing...

It's all a blur...

I was laying at the foot of the bed... listening to the CD he'd just gotten me... I had my eyes closed, waiting for him to come out of the shower.

Lost in my own world... even though he was down the hall, the lack of his physical presence... just... I was lost... waiting...

Then I felt two warm arms wrap around me...

I opened my eyes...

I looked up at him... he looked down at me... and smiled... with the softest look in his eyes... I pulled down my headphones... leaned up... he leaned towards me... and my eyes closed again...

I don't have much to do except think about my life a month from now. Everyone's busy except me, and all I really have to do is sit around wondering what's to come when I go to university this year... too much time with nothing to do... but I don't feel like doing anything. How much will I miss home? I'll be out of here in a month... away from here... away from what I love, away from certain feelings I want to leave behind...

Away from home... this city I call "home" for no other reason than it's where I currently reside.

I just want the future to come...

I must start sending the crap. I can't wake up early enough to get to the mailbox in time. Woe is me!

And... I'm scared of putting stuff in envelopes. I don't want them to get lost.

Which means I have to pay to get a BOX... and at that rate I might as well send everything at once instead of stuff individually...

I dunno...

Damn mail people. I'm still really upset over my chapstick. That little tube of "hemp" meant a lot to me...

My daddy went to China again. He'll be back in 10 days.

My avatar roxx so bad. Shitty looking but pleasant to my eyes.

Right now I'm going through another temporary emotional withdrawl. So instead of telling you all how upset I am - because, technically, I can't feel that I'm upset, I just know I am - I'll talk about other shit that's been happening.

I think I could seriously fill a cup of water with how many times I've cried in the last few days. I've learned to not wear eye make-up, cause my second pillow looks like someone tipped a bottle of black ink over it. Seriously. My mom screamed when she saw it, complaining about how she wouldn't able to wash it out. I just said sorry and shrugged. My horrible vindictive thoughts? "That's when you get for not letting me see Frank again."

I want my phone to ring. I want to make a call. I'm twiddling it in the palm of my hand right now. I want to let everything out, and hold onto what I love and believe in. I don't want it to slip away. But I don't know where to draw the line between "caring" and "possessively annoying." I suppose I'll have to take that risk.

But maybe a temporary moment of silence is all we need to clear our minds. Maybe it'll go away tomorrow, and we'll forget about it. Maybe I don't have to do anything at all.

Sometimes it happens that way.

But sometimes it doesn't.

I'm going to annoy the piss out of you whether you like it or not. If you don't want me around, then tell me to leave, and don't give me the choice. Don't give me uncertaintly and don't try to protect me. Beat me over the head with it. Shout at me, scream at me to go, otherwise I'm not leaving. I'm going to hold onto you the best I can right now.

I don't know what's right or wrong.

I don't know what you need right now.

I tell myself to shut the fuck up and just do it.

Just do it.

2657296

I HATE YOU ALL! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU PLEASE leave me alone...

please...

I knew it! Oh, I knew it, I knew it all along, I shouldn't have, I shouldn't... couldn't... I knew I would...

I'm already sweating... hot water dripping down my face only makes it worse. It's so hot in here...

I don't understand why... I don't know what to think...

What if everything I know is a lie?

Oh, I just knew it'd be like that...

And when you lay around doing shit BAM it's 6 AM!

Why can't I fucking sleep?

...Or hang up, that's fine too... hum.

I'm too goddamn angsty sometimes.

And one explodes into tears as the thing goes static-beep-static-beep.

Please wake up.

So... I'm laying here... with my laptop... nearing 4 AM...

And Frank is on the phone with me... sleeping and resting, I hope...

I haven't been reading people's blogs, Xangas, or anything lately. Nobody. Nothing. Completely self-absorbed. I need to be locked in my own world for now.

The world of me, and me and Frank.

It's because I need to feel... comfortable, and I need to rest. I've been so tired lately, honestly. Don't have the energy to think a lot about other people... I know that sounds incredibly selfish but, there's so many things going on with everyone right now... Everyone's unique and I try to recognize that... And I, being as lazy as I am currently do not have the energy to have a bagillion different states of mind when I read a bagillion different blogs where a bagillion different people have a bagillion different views and I must respect and support them all, even when they contradict each other. At least in my head, I have to. I mean, it's not that hard, I'm just... I WANT to read other people's stuff, though I'm feeling kinda sensitive... I'm scared I might come across friends in pain, and things, and I should know about those kinds of things, but... I don't wanna feel helpless either...

Indulging in selfishness, I guess.

But the thing is, I don't expect people to read about my life, either... sometimes I feel safer knowing nobody's reading... I mean, sometimes it's nice to know you have an audience, people who care. But sometimes... you just don't want anyone to read, cause you don't wanna make anyone mad, hurt by your actions, or anything like that.

I kinda hope nobody's reading this entry... I don't mean to wallow around like this.

Well...

It feels really nice having Frank sleeping there...

Although it'd be nicer to have him sleeping here...

I feel calmed by his presence.

Not sure why I'm not sleeping, I doubt it's the caffeine... I've had caffeine before and I zoned out much earlier. Plus, it was a cup of stale coke, and that really doesn't do much, does it...?

I want tonight to last until we see each other again...

I want our phone's batteries to never die...

I don't want 6AM to come... oh, wait, tomorrow's SATURDAY!

Mm, I feel better.

Yet, I don't.

I don't want to be busy when I go to college...

I don't want him to go to school...

I wanna spend every moment with him possible, I don't want...

I don't want a lot of things. Which means I want a lot of things, cause I'd be wanting the opposite of what I don't want. In most cases anyway. It's not always black and white. We all know this.

I hypnotize youuu! Goooo pllaaayyy Souulll Callliiibuuurrr II cauuusseee iiittt rooocks!

Anyway. My eyes are slowly closing - joy! But I feel compelled to fight the need to sleep... I dunno, really...

I love you...

Had a dream two nights ago that my mom was given a psycho personality, and she wanted to kill everyone. My sister was given a special light-bearing personality, and I lured my mom away from home to keep her safe... She began murdering people in public and I couldn't take it anymore, so I started screaming to let everyone know, and everyone realized what she was doing and she got so mad at me, started chasing me with a knife... I was running and I pulled out my laptop (not sure how) and messaged my sister to set up some sort of trap to kill our mom, cause... in the dream, it was the only way... mew...

Then another dream about somebody using graphic design over the internet to lure people into her trap, so she could turn them into what she was, some sort of evil thing, she'd brainwashed a mass of people... She started going after me... trying to kill me, as a lot of people have been doing in my dreams lately.

What is with my dreams and killing lately...?

And the worse part is... I felt blank... emotionless... only slight hints of fear now and then... like, I knew I was scared in the dream but I wasn't really FEELING it. It was like I was numb, I only picked up hints of what I should've been feeling.

Me + Frank songs, and songs that remind me of him and make me feel all warm and cozy cause we've talked about them...

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
Santana + Chad Koeger - Why Don't You and I
Hoobastank - From the Heart
Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue
Story of the Year - Until the Day I Die
Trapt - Echo
DJ Shadow - Midnight in a Perfect World
Chrono Trigger & Xenogears Downwind (OverClocked ReMix)
Eagle Eye Cherry - Save Tonight

Soooo, Frank's computer has been dead for about a week now. A lot of letters I wanted to send him had to do with having access to a computer (digital pictures, movie files, music, whatnot...) I've been trying to surprise him with random little things every few days, just to give him something to do or think about. I miss him.

Hum.

I love him so much...

I need to finish that video for him... an hour of me just sitting around talking, haha. XDD Yes, so interesting.

I'm still hovering around 100 lbs at 1-2 meals a day... I can't keep this up, my brain is going to fry if I don't eat... but I've only been eating when I get hungry, and I'm not a very active person, so I don't eat much...

I was bored last night, so I decided to be a camwhore. Craptacular pictures at 2AM! YAY!

Alright, this next picture is actually from a month ago, but... it's my awesome PoTC shirt, y'know?

Hokay. I'm off.

Every time I listen to the radio, I criticize and comment on everything I hear on it. I'm like the Simon of 89.3 KOHL, I have something to say about EVERY song. The blunt and honest truth. And I just won't shut up about it, it's like an impulse.

Usually songs have to work pretty hard to gain my respect... I have to listen a couple times before I have respect for the artist's music, or something. It's not that I don't like music - music is the biggest aesthetic/hobby in my life. I'm just so critical about pop culture...

The number one thing I won't shut up about is how Britney Spears shouldn't be singing "Everytime." That song is beatiful. Her voice is okay. That's why it isn't GOOD ENOUGH for that song. "Everytime" is a really sweet and powerful song, and the instruments themselves are already soft. Britney's voice dulls it out - it's light, whispy, hardly has any substance it. So what if "Everytime" is a hit? Doesn't mean it's the best it could be. I wish they would've given that song to someone else... "Everytime" would've been one of my very favorite songs - if it was given to THE RIGHT SINGER. Okay, I know Britney worked hard. Everyone has to work hard. The poor freaking songwriter had to work hard to write it. But... WTF, why am I JUSTIFYING what I write? This is my JOURNAL, I CAN WRITE WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT!!!!!!!!!

Mew. Anyway...

I've been obsessed with these two songs lately.

+ SuperGreenX - The Color of Battle [download]
Cute little techno battle-like theme. I think it's so cool, and as SGX says himself, tis a "fun song." 

+ Kingdom Hearts - Above the Rising Falls (OverClocked) [download]
The "Hollow Bastien" theme (my in-game favorite) with a Pirates of the Carribbean twist to it. Cool style. ^^

...And "Above the Rising Falls" is a kickass title too, if you're a Kingdom Hearts fan you automatically know that's Hollow Bastion... (Bastion? Bastien?) Cause... the waterfalls there rise up. Mylan had a picture of it on her desktop once. I dunno, my heart jumped cause for once I knew what the song title was implying. Good to finally see a remix for KH...

I had another dream last night...

My dreams lately are strange and unsettling... and I'm not sure why.

A month or two ago, I had a dream that Frank and I were in the same college, same dorm building. But he was acting quite distant, uninterested in me, and more interested in his female roommate... I was walking through the hallways, when I overheard some things I shouldn't have. I saw them together, and he kissed her... Unexpected pain pierced my chest, and I flew back as if someone had thrown me against the wall... I had to grasp at it and whisper, "No, no, no..." over and over again... In blind fury I began yelling, yelling at her and yelling at Frank... He stared at me like... he didn't know who I was. I went back to the dorms,&n bsp;feeling disoriented, lost, and utterly alone and empty, when a psycho girl chased me with a knife trying to kill me. The worse thing is no one seemed to care or want to help me, they laughed and supported the killing... I ended up running into a bathroom... I pulled a gun from my backpack and waited in a bathroom stall. She kicked opened the door and as she was slashing at my chest, I opened fire, I shot three times into her stomach...

Two weeks ago I dreamt of witnessing things that I shouldn't have witnessed, being in different people's bodies and wandering through a town entirely of children and teenagers. Being in a girl's body as she got trapped in a building that was going to explode, then being in her lover's and feeling his pain as he escaped and couldn't get her out. Trying to solve a mystery, unmask a scam that was going on, something taking advantage of our childish innocence, that no one in town was unaware of but me...

A few days ago I had a dream of going underwater, desperately searching for an invisible presence... everyone else could reach their invisible presences but I couldn't reach mine until hours after everyone else had left. After I saved it, I brought it out onto the grass in the countryside, and he slowly took the form of an 11-year-old boy... A quiet boy with deep troubled eyes, who never spoke. He sat there as I gasped for breathe, healing me just by quietly looking at me... I was dressed like a gypsy for some reason, and by the time I felt stronger and got up to start down the path, he vanished behind me.

A few days ago I also had a dream that Frank and I met again... but he didn't care that much. I'd gone shopping and everything trying to look and be perfect, but when I saw him, he'd changed. I loved him so much, like always, and he seemed to love me, but he was acting distant, distracted, like he didn't care that much that we'd only be together like that for a day. I tried to make that warm, comfortable, cozy, loving feeling between us return, but in my dream it wasn't there... I felt so lost, even though I was sitting right next to him, holding his hand.

Then came my dream of eternal night... which I just wrote about.

And last night...

I dreamt... that he did something with a friend, and never told me about it... I was hanging out with this friend at Frank's house while Frank drove off to the grocery, when the friend spilled the information. I tentatively asked, "So... when did you guys do that...?" 

And he told me stuff in detail, before asking concernedly, ...Are your feelings hurt by us doing that?"

I stumbled for words... "No..." I lied. "I mean... I just... I didn't know... he never told me..." I didn't wanna flat out scream "YES!" cause I didn't want him thinking I hated gay guys, but at the same time, regardless of opposition's gender, Frank was MY lover, and it hurt. I was in a real awkward situation and I wasn't sure how I should act.

Of course, let us note that Frank is straight as a line, so that dream wasn't true in the slightest. I'm not sure how my thoughts managed to wander onto a dream like that, though... Gosh, I'm messed in the head.

I had a dark scary dream last night. It was creepy. And bloody. And somewhat violent. I was killing so many things, and I hated it, but I had to do it everyone else would die.

I really didn't care about the blood, though... there wasn't much.

Dark corridors... seemed like a dead courtyard, a tomb... blue lighting. Eternal night. Full moon. Lots of Egyptian elements...

It was the violence that bothered me most... Give a hit, take a hit, we all fought with thin swords and I was getting scratched up all over, clawed by weird harpy-like creatures, creatures coming out of coffins, statues coming to life, and whatnot, piercing pains and bleeding stuffs... I had a partner but neither of us wanted to do the violent work... and neither of us were really skilled with fighting, sometimes my partner seemed a bit scared and wouldn't help but I never held the slightest grudge in my head, because she reminded me of me... We had to find like 20 relics that we couldn't obtain unless we killed things... hours passed and we'd only found 3. I don't remember why we were looking for the relics. We were trying to protect and heal our group, and someone was wounded, so they sent us out into the night to do the scary stuff...

And it wasn't easy... to kill those things... it took a long time to battle each one. And I'm weak, I'm definitely not skilled, and I had to stay alive... so much running.

I remember this female human-like person I was fighting... pale skin, lavender under the moonlight... I finally trapped her and started slashing, slashing, slashing across her flat chest back and forth, back and forth, until she finally started bleeding and red scratch marks were forming all over her, she screamed and snarled and clawed me over and over, it hurt, I was bleeding more than she was, but I kept going... until I'd slashed her chest away, and there was the relic inside of her...

Oy. Strange dream...

I just remember the scratches... that was the main thing, really. Getting scratched up and sliced. Just those piercing feelings.

I honestly don't know how that dream came about though. I don't think about things like that, ever... It was so scary walking through those corriders... dead people... oy...

Some dreams just pop up so randomly, you have to wonder where they came from and if they honestly came from you. Sure, everything in your dreams is something you've heard of or seen before, but it's not necessarily something you care about, or sparks your interest. Just, how do dreams come about...?

Like me being a gypsy and ending up with the Hunchback of Notre Dam cast, that was RANDOM. Seriously, fucking, random.

Oh, sad is the world... but I have my Kavorkian scarf...

Gosh, I want to explode into a thousand pieces and be done with the silly spoiled brat that I am.

Come back... I love you...

I feel like breaking out into song.

Not cause I'm happy...

Just sometimes you need a way to express yourself, and I'm sick of talking.

I wish no one was around...

Wish I was alone here, so I could run around and sing at the top of my lungs, sing and then cry and moan my song - no, wait, you can't cry unless you think.

Whenever Jess gets home and comes online, I want to greet her... I want to let her know I've been thinking about her all this time. I wanna hear everything she has to say - and the strange thing is, that's all I want to do. I just want to listen and hear her stories...

Because... even though I don't know how well they got along, I know how truly incredible it is that they got to meet... and I'm really excited hearing about this.

And... if they got along after all...

... I just want to be here for her, if I'm needed...

The me that you know is made up of wires
And even right when I'm with you
I'm so far away

I love this song so much. It's so awesome. And I can play it on the piano! Yay! XD

This Trent guy is a one-man band. He sings, plays all his instruments and everything, at least that's what I've heard, and it's quite inspiring... I mean, if I were to ever become a professional musician maybe I could go down that road, cause I'm not very sociable and I usually don't like working with other people on long-term creative endeavors. Maybe I'm just arrogant like that...

While I'm talking about musicians I want to get this off my chest:

I'M JEALOUS OF AVRIL LAVIGNE!

Yes! You heard me! I admire that girl all the way to hell and I'm so jealous of her. No, she's not my style. But she's UBER talented. Confident. Pretty. And let's not forget... she's FAMOUS. I've always been jealous of her... even though her music isn't my favorite... she's so nifty.

Yes, I feel good admitting that... now I can be rid of it and any edginess I possess when speaking about her has been explained. I am free.

I've yawned about 10 times in the last minute.

God, I'm so tired...

Lonely lonely lonely

Lonely lonely lonely

Lonely lonely lonely

Lonely lonely lonely

Lonely lonely lonely

Lonely lonely lonely

Lonely lonely lonely

Lonely lonely lonely

Lonely lonely lonely

Lonely lonely lonely

Lonely lonely lonely

Lonely lonely lonely

Lonely lonely lonely

Lonely lonely lonely

Lonely lonely lonely

Lonely lonely lonely

Lonely lonely lonely

Lonely lonely lonely

Mweeeeeer!

Okay. So.

I feel left out.

Of everything.

But at the same time, I don't want to be part of anything.
But I do.
I'm sure if I thought about it for awhile, I could figure out how to make it perfect, to my advantage, and everything...

But...

Embracing the fact I'm jealous of a lot of people... and I wish I could be a better person.

Damn, I'm such a loser.

AND EVEN RIGHT WHEN I'M WITH YOU
I'M SO FAR AWAY!

I CAN TRY TO GET AWAY BUT I'VE STRAPPED MYSELF IN
I CAN TRY TO SCRATCH AWAY THIS SOUND IN MY EARS

It won't give up
It wants me dead

It won't give up
It wants me dead

Shut up and quit calling me a wannabe angsty teen, okay? I just happen to like that song because IT IS MUSICALLY GENIUS. I bet you couldn't write a song that awesome. He is THE MASTER, he owns you and me and this whole world because he can write songs by himself and be unique and famous at the same time WITHOUT being overly commercialized. And I'm sure YOU get upset once in awhile too, but what are you gonna do about it? You have your own ways of venting and I have mine. Fuck you too.

Don't impose. Shut up.

Get out.

This smoothie is really good. YES, after a couple hours they finally return home with my breakfast. I've been waiting all this time to have a small smoothie for breakfast.

[ Refusing to think. Feeling it, but refusing to think about it. ]

I like donating to charities and quests on Gaia, whenever I have some extra gold. I never give out huge amounts cause I'm a starving artist myself, but I feel good when I give stuff to other people. Just a couple hundred here and a hundred there. I like the routine My Lan was getting into... "I try to donate to someone at least once a week..."

Speaking of charitable services... I still need to work on the songs involved in my JOB. Now why do fake little people with their fake little items motivate me to be creative, but real cash doesn't?

Ergh... I don't even know why I'm awake right now. I have this strong urge for caffeine, and I really don't like staying in bed all that long, especially when no one's home...

That's when I can get up and do whatever I want, so why stay in bed?

But man, I'm so tired.

I wish Jess could stay in Scotland longer.

It makes me so happy that she's there, and I don't want her to leave.

I wanna hear from her again, of course, but I'm so scared of how they're going to feel when they go back to their separate worlds. Incredibly scared.

So scared cause it makes me remember.

Makes me think.

Quynh Anh burst into my room and I literally bolted awake... I flew upright like a snake and stared at her, then she was like, "...Do you want to go to Starbucks with us?" My mom accidentally forgot to get me what I asked for though, so I just said I'd settle for a smoothie instead.

But I need CAFFEINE...

Maybe I can caffeinate the smoothie somehow...

I had a can of coke at 10PM last night. I'm really too tired to stay up at nights but I fuel myself with caffeine for some reason. But the thing is I don't like sleeping during the day either. Too many hours in a day to enjoy, some blue skies and some full moons, why do we have to SLEEP during one half or the other?

I want to be awake 24/7 and never get tired, never need to rest.

Or sleep two times a day or something, so I get a little bit of both times of day.

...But I'd need caffeine.

"Sucking on my titties like you wanted me, calling me all the time..."

Must stop listening to Peaches... XP

So... I am low on inspiration at the moment, and I wanted to run through a list of abandoned projects I might be able to go back on, just to remind myself of what I've been working on over the last couple of years. And, if I happen to get bored, I can just move back on one and play with it a bit.

Hyrule Legends Beyond
100 years into the future, Ganondorf's offspring unite the Gerudo of Hyrule and bordering countries to form a massive army to take over the world. Link's offspring and company have to venture beyond Hyrule and even through time to awaken all the sages and end the Dragmires's reign of darkness. [ Yahoo! Groups ]

Ganondorf's Revenge
Ganondorf escapes the Sacred Realm and the old sages are killed. The new sages must be awakened and journey with Link to bring peace to Hyrule once and for all. [ Yahoo! Groups ]

Boomer: Official bio from GR...
Name: Boomer Rane
Age: 15
Gender: Female
Race/Species: Sheikah
Left or Right handed?: Ambidextrous, right preference
Hair colour/length: Blueish-black, medium length and straight, hangs naturally down the sides of her face
Eye colour: Sky blue
Occupation: Sage of Shadow
Weapon preference: Daggers
Blood Type: AB+
Date of Birth: November 15
Zodiac: Scorpio
Additional Skills: Magic, agility, stealth, ameutuer thieving abilities
Likes: Running, being independant and free
Dislikes: Being told what to do, being confined, being the center of attention
Personality: Boomer usually appears quiet and observant, but beneath her moody temperament lies a strong heart and unbreakable sense of determination.
She's very independent of her friends and prefers doing things her own way. Boomer tries to look on both sides of things, balancing her mind and heart before making a decision.
Background Information: Boomer was raised in Aiden Forest of a land east of Hyrule, called Fira-Kai. As the daughter of a bounty hunter, she learned to always follow her intuition, but to be careful with who she trusted. Boomer fled to Hyrule a year ago when a war between two Sheikah tribes led to an assault on her home. Both of her parents were killed, but she safely arrived in Kakariko Village with her brother, who died shortly after.
Picture: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v62/riikaru/Bo omerBio.jpg" title="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v62/riikaru/Bo omerBio.jpg" target="_blank"http://img.photobucket.com/al...

Kao: Official bio from GR...
Name: Kao Aeras
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Race/Species: Sheikah
Left or Right handed?: Left
Hair colour/length: Short, brown, stylishly messy
Eye colour: Red
Occupation: Just a commoner =)
Weapon preference: Sword
Blood Type: O+
Date of Birth: December 5
Zodiac: Sagittarius
Additional Skills: Self defense, speed, strength, somewhat learned in magic
Likes: Being with his friends, having fun, and Boomer
Dislikes: Narrow-minded people, being picked on, being taken advantage of
Personality: Kao is very outgoing and open-minded, so he makes friends easily and feels comfortable around most everyone. He usually carries a laid-back attitude, but don't mistake him for a pushover; he's sensitive to everyone around him and will kick your ass if he catches you making someone else unhappy. Independant, honest, sweet, and fun-loving, Kao knows exactly when to be serious, when to be angry, and when to gently kiss the girl and say "I love you".
Background Information: Son of Prince Kien, heir to the throne of Aiden. Kao and his family managed to escape to Hyrule a year ago when a war between two Sheikah tribes led to an attack on Aiden Forest. Since then, they've lived as commoners in Kakariko. Kao's been best friends with Boomer and Magas since they were kids.
Picture: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v62/riikaru/Ka o.jpg" title="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v62/riikaru/Ka o.jpg" target="_blank"http://img.photobucket.com/al...

Magas: Official bio from GR...
Name: Magas Khenori
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Race/Species: Sheikah
Left or Right handed?: Right
Hair colour/length: Long and silver-blonde, loosely kept in a ponytail
Eye colour: Lavender
Occupation: Mortician's Assistant
Weapon preference: Scythe
Blood Type: A+
Date of Birth: January 19
Zodiac: Capricorn
Additional Skills: Combat abilities, brute strength, speed, sword skills, magic
Likes: Privacy, being in control of his own life
Dislikes: Being confined, being questioned about his motives
Personality: Quiet and reserved, Magas is much of a lone wolf who keeps to himself. He secretly looks after his friends but his protective nature is often mistaken for jealousy. A young man of few words, Magas may seem cynical when he does speak, but in reality he just doesn't know how to express his feelings. Magas feels confined within Hyrule and longs to explore the world beyond.
Background Information: The son of a high-classed aristocrat and a famous bounty hunter, Magas never recieved much attention as a kid. He spent most of his time away from home, having fun with his best friends and exploring the area in which he lived. Magas fled to Hyrule with Boomer and Kao when the war of the Sheikah tribes broke out. While Boomer was united in Kakariko with her brother and Kao with his parents, Magas waited and waited for his own family to arrive... but... they never did. From that moment on, the& nbsp;outgoing, fun-loving Magas Khenori that everybody once knew was lost.
Picture: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v62/riikaru/Ma gas2.jpg" title="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v62/riikaru/Ma gas2.jpg" target="_blank"http://img.photobucket.com/al...

Dykon Slayers
Six crazy bounty hunters are given the assignment to capture Dykon, the powerful leader of a guild of mages who've been causing the kingdom of Draco Raelden trouble for years. [ Collaborative project with My Lan. ]

Jette Blue: A laid-back bou nty hunter who hates stupid people but finds herself stuck with them constantly. Jette values her dignity and tries to remain low-key whenever possible. She dislikes anyone who threatens her ego. Picture: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v62/riikaru/Je tte.jpg" title="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v62/riikaru/Je tte.jpg" target="_blank"http://img.photobucket.com/al...

Læon M'Ginnis: An overly sarcastic bounty hunter who likes to think highly of himself. He's quite jealous of Meta and shows off a lot to prove his worth. Læon fights with Jette constantly and often comes off as rude, but in reality, he only acts tough to mask his own insecurities.

Meta: Silent. Deadly. And damn fucking sexy. Known as the most elite slayer in the guild, but also the most evasive, Meta is a high point of controversy. Always escaping the public eye, nothing is known of his past. Actually, nothing is even known of his present. o_O But despite this, all the girls want to date him, all the guys want to be him, and everyone wants to get to know the person behind the enigma. Picture: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v62/riikaru/Me ta.jpg" title="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v62/riikaru/Me ta.jpg" target="_blank"http://img.photobucket.com/al...

Picture: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v62/riikaru/Dy konSlayers.jpg" title="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v62/riikaru/Dy konSlayers.jpg" target="_blank"http://img.photobucket.com/al...
Jette - front left. Meta - top left. Laeon - back and center.

Solo projects...

Skye
A rip between alternate worlds. A force playing god with abused powers. Kao finds a shard of a mysterious crystal that seems to be connected to these dimenson rips, and sets out to find the pieces and solve the mystery of Skye's dimenson breaches. Along the way he meets Boomer, an adventure-loving sailor, and Magas, a creepy stranger who seems to be using the crystal pieces to his own advantage...
Picture: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v62/riikaru/Sk ye.jpg" title="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v62/riikaru/Sk ye.jpg" target="_blank"http://img.photobucket.com/al...

Wild Dreamers
Three best friends, Death, Riley, and Merlyn, live on a small island isolated from the rest of the world... but neither of them remember how they ended up there. Packing their bags and plotting their maps, the three friends set sail and begin their quest to discover the truth about their identities. 

A storm hits, destroying their ship. Riley and Merlyn wake up to find themselves washed ashore near a sunny harbor... but Death is nowhere in sight.

The two friends then discover their location: the "Island of Shadows." They soon meet Rose, a young mage part of the "resistance," and discover that mysterious white flashes and meteor showers in the sky continously destroys people's memories. Only a rare few can resist the flashes, but they live in solitude because no one remembers them.

It's the story of three wild dreamers: By relying on love and friendship, Death, Riley, and Merlyn overcome all obstacles to find eachother again, and unlock the mystery behind the white flashes in the sky on the Island of Shadows.

[ Damn all these mysteries ]

Death: What was that?
Some kind of meteor shower?

Aeolus: No one can say for sure.
Our world has been this way for
as long as we can remember.
When the stars fall...
People forget things.

Chock full of cameos [excerpts from my lil project notebook]:

Death
Age: 16
An energetic boy who always stands up for his friends.
When he, Riley, and Merlyn become separated on the
Island of Shadows, Death vows to find them, and help
his new friends along the way.
Who: Mich

Riley
Age: 18
An impulsive girl who always follows her heart.
Passionate and daring, Riley is the one who
suggests the idea of sailing to another island.
Who: Jess

Merlyn
Age: 17
A bit calmer than his friends, Merlyn always
analyzes a situation and thinks things through
before acting. When the trio of best friends are
separated on the Island of Shadows, Merlyn
begins finding clues about the mysterious white
flashes in the sky.
Who: Dav

Death: Aeolus, how come you can remember everything?
You're not like everyone else.

Aeolus: There are few who can resist the Shadows.
But our victories are not so rewarding...

We live in loneliness.
As time passes on, we are the only
things that grow, while the minds
around us are newly born.

We cannot love without fear of
that love being taken from us.
We do not associate with people,
because the Shadows can claim all
knowledge of such friendships.

You are lucky you still remember
your friends... And what's more
amazing is how you can remember
yourself.

Aeolus
[ Route 1 ]
A mysterious man living on the Island of the Shadows. A
rather tragic character, Aeolus seems troubled about his
past but seldom explains his thoughts. Part of the resistance,
Aeolus first finds Death in Darkside Forest, where Death
has been knocked unconscious by the white flashes.
Aeolus agrees to help Death find Riley and Merlin, as long
as he's not considered as an "ally." In the end, Aeolus does
end up with a fondness and admiration for the naive yet
courageous boy.
Who: Frank

Kale
[ Route 1 ]
A young wandering prince living on the Island of Shadows.
After losing his memory the first time, he was tricked by
Seth and Seffa to believe that he was a part of the Kami
Alliance.
Kale turns to the good side eventually, after Death gets
him to remember his past, forcing him to realize that he is
a traitor. Kale is sweet, but very confused and easy to
manipulate.
Who: Kao

Wild Dreamers is an RPG MAKER 2000 project. These were going to be the corresponding avatars, EDITTED OFF BASES/CHARS BY THE UBER TALENTED ROCO:

1st row: Khalbon. Seth. Seffa. Kale. Sirius [temporary].
2nd row: Shint. Neo. Aeolus. Riley. Kyoko. Seth [impersonating Death].

3rd row: Magas.
4th row: Rose. Khyros. Death. Merlyn. Kylie.

More characters were being written into the story, when I was working on it, of course. But, ach, I'm tired now. I doubt anyone would've had the patience to read all that anyway. Until my next inspirational ramble... bye bye!

I've been sleeping for four hours, but I cannot sleep anymore cause I don't want my family bitching at me.

I have decided that I would rather wake up and scratch my fingernails on a chalkboard every morning than listen to the vacuum cleaner. I hate the vacuum cleaner. I'm not sure what's with the sudden hatred, cause I've never had issues with it before, but hearing the vacuum cleaner really breaks my concentration and stresses me out.

I guess this coffee shit works. It's five fourt y-five in the morning and I'm... awake. Unusually awake. I felt like doing something crazy all day - yesterday, excuse me. Anything unusual. This coffee thing doesn't quite cut it, but it could count, I suppose... I want more coffee...

I recorded this song today - yesterday - and it was done really fast on the spot, so it's a bit messy and cliche for lack of a tune and other instruments. But this is basically the song I heard this song in a dream a month ago... it's amazing I still remember it.

I hope this link works...

http://www.geocities.com/sirius64/end.html" title="http://www.geocities.com/sirius64/end.html" target="_blank"http://www.geocities.com/siri...

Strange habits... breakfast past noon, lunch right before dinner, and dinner in the middle of the night...

That is, assuming I eat, of course.

I'm really hungry right now... and I'm going to go eat something. Then I'll get some coffee a read a bit more of the DMV handbook. I haven't really been doing much all day today, and I feel wasted and useless over it... so maybe I'll do something productive and read a couple pages... I mean, it's better than nothing.

I can't help but think about the Zodiac description about Scorpios and their mystical eyes. It makes me wonder about my eyes. Can I stare at people and make them feel "emotionally naked"? It's just a silly description but it's an interesting thought. I certainly don't feel that way, though... It'd be nifty if it were true.

Different people's eyes have different effects on me... Some people's eyes, I can't stare into because they're so fierce, they burn. Some people are laid back, and it's easy to maintain their gaze and talk to them. For a couple months now I've been starting to find lots of issues with talking to people and maintaining eye contact, cause I can't look at people for too long without feeling weird and edgy. Some people, you can pick up how lost they are. Longing, desire. Some people, you can tell they're dead or unhappy. Some people have this mischeivous glint, that makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes you just don't want to look into their eyes, it's too overwhelming...

But some people... some people, you can't read anything. You can't see how they feel, because their eyes are just there. Like they're trying to read into you, only they can't get to you, and you don't feel their presence and quite frankly you don't care, cause you know your eyes reveal as little about you as theirs about themselves.

...I'm rambling again.

Sometimes when I start feeling edgy about eye contact, I'll just stare straight into the person's eyes and force my gaze there to get over my fear of it. Some people stare right back feeling perfectly comfortable... some take it as a challenge or threat, and you know they're thinking it because it's in their eyes. And it's amazing how regardless how confident a person is acting, you can mess them up by staring into their eyes, and it throws them off a little. Then they do what I do - get fidgetty and shift their gaze around uncomfortably.

Eyes are the first thing I draw when drawing people...

In my drawings and paintings, eyes are the things I'm complimented on the most...

Whenever I doodle, I draw eyes...

I've never really thought about that before.

Well, eyes are cool. I'm sure a lot of people agree with me.

I love Frank's eyes... they're so enigmatic and mysterious, but when I look at them just right, seems like I can see... a lot of things...

His eyes seem fierce at a distance... the way his eyebrows are arched gives him this "evil" sort of look. Sometimes it's a little scary... but... when I look deeply into them, there's so many emotions, a mix of things hidden in his eyes. When we're face to face, I can gaze into his eyes and see real love, and all doubts I have disappear because the truth is right there for me to see...

Even on webcam and stuff you can pick up little things. There's the unmistakable mischeivous glint (sometimes accompanied by the evil smirk) that's like, 'Try to mess with me. I DARE you. I'll just sit here and be entertained cause no matter what you do, you can't win.' OF COURSE I don't believe this to be true, I'm just, exagerrating, stating in general what the "mischeivous glint" is. From what I percieve via the eyes anyway.

There's a layer that seems tired, lost, stressed... but... it's very masked by something else. Usually the mischievous glint and some sort of wall. o_O

But sometimes... he's extremely tired and worn out... and there's no wall, nothing covering it in the eyes, it's just there, and very visible.

But there's one thing I've never seen. I've never seen him look distracted... and by this I mean completely unfocused on anything, just lost in the clouds and not paying attention to anything around him at all. I suppose I'm not around enough to really know... >_< I've only seen him in person for about a week in total... there are many many things about him I've never seen, compared to what people who've known him for years might have...

Ergh, I said I'd stop rambling awhile ago... down to get my coffee now.

She shines in a world full of ugliness
And she matters where everything is meaningless
Fragile
She doesn't see her beauty
She tries to get away
Sometimes it's just that nothing seems worth saving
I cannot just slip away

I won't let you fall apart...

She reads the minds of all the people as they pass her by
Hoping someone can see
If I could fix myself I'd-- I'd...
But it's too late for me

I won't let you fall apart

I won't let you fall apart

I won't let you fall apart

I won't let you fall apart...

...

........

We'll find the perfect place to go where we can run and hide
We'll build a wall and we can keep them on the other side
...But they keep waiting...
...And picking...

And picking... and picking... and picking... and...

Hah hah hah...

...

THERE'S SOMETHING I HAVE TO DO
I WAS THERE, TOO
BEFORE EVERYTHING ELSE
I WAS LIKE YOU

The Fragile
Nine Inch Nails
Stripped down version from "And All That Could Have Been"

I beat my machine...
It's a part of me,
It's inside of me

I'm stuck in this dream
It's changing me
I am becoming

The me that you know
He had some second thoughts
He's covered with scabs
He is broken and sore

The me that you know
He doesn't come around much
That part of me isn't here anymore

All pain disappears
It's the nature of my circuitry
Drowns out all I hear
There's no escape from this
My new consciousness

The me that you know
He used to have feelings
But the blood has stopped pumping and he is left to decay

The me that you know is now made up of wires
And even when I'm right with you
I'm so far away

I CAN TRY TO GET AWAY 
But I’ve strapped myself in
I can try to scratch away the sound in my ears

I CAN SEE IT KILLING AWAY
All of my bad parts
I don't want to listen
But it's all too clear

Hiding backwards inside of me
I feel so unafraid

Annie,
Hold a little tighter
I might just slip away

It won't give up
It wants me dead
Goddamn this noise inside my head
It won't give up
It wants me dead
Goddamn this noise inside my head
It won't give up
It wants me dead
Goddamn this noise inside my head
It won't give up
It wants me dead
Goddamn this voice inside my head
It won't give up
It wants me dead
Goddamn this noise inside my head
It won't give up
It wants me dead
Goddamn this noise inside my head
It won't give up
It wants me dead
Goddamn this noise inside my head 
It won't give up
It wants me dead
GODDAMN THIS NOISE INSIDE MY HEAD

The Becoming
Nine Inch Nails
Stripped down version from "And All That Could Have Been"