Oh gosh, I'm so embarassed. Frank's mom picked up the phone this morning going, "Hello? Frankie, I need to use this phone." It woke me up, and then I accidentally moaned into the phone... and after I realized his MOM was listening I was like, fuck fuck fuck I'm so stupid, WAKE UP!

She kept asking, "Hello?" and there'd be no reply from Frank... I reached for the "end call" button on my cell phone, thinking I should hang up if Frank wasn't there... but then she hung up, and I heard Frank's soft voice, and I felt a thousand times better and I almost cried because I'm really scared of Frank's mom. And it's creepy waking up in the middle of the night to something you're scared of.

When my dad was telling me stories about how he felt when he met my mom, I started realizing that age doesn't always have to do with things... and I shouldn't discredit myself just because I'm young.

"Everything was so nice and natural around your mom, things were smooth, and..."

"Exactly! Everything was so right."

This song is so beautiful.

CLICK ME

That's the best I can do, I dunno where to refer you to for the plain acoustic version. The full band one is nice too, but the acoustic one makes me feel... so many things, I can't really explain.

I don't understand how people can tap their toes when they listen to music. It hurts and it makes me feel all weird... I always tap my heels. I get into the song better when I tap my heels.

It might sound silly, but it feels so good without your parents around, so you can sing along to any song you want and scream the song's profanities at the top of your lungs. With other people screaming along with you. I mean, some people get to do that at home, but it's new to me.

I think my bass is pissing the people downstairs off again.

This is typically amused Aivi in her dorm room.

And this is Bowser. He owns.

I am way too demanding...

W00t! I got a 3rd row seat today in chem. There was actually one extra seat in the 1st row. Seems people were afraid to sit there or something, if I'd noticed it sooner I might've gone for it... Progress, progress. I'll work my way to the front slowly. After chem, I biked to the library and studied for an hour. Then I biked back here.

I guess a lot of students are out in the morning around 9-10ish... most of my classes are really early or really late, so I never really see a lot of people.

My biggest accomplishments today, however - it's always been easy for me to ride with only my left hand, I can balance fine and everything. But I've always had trouble with my right hand... then I actually tried holding the handlebars with only my right hand today and I realized the ONLY limiting factor was my FEAR of it.

Apparently I am alive.

I haven't tried steering or pedalling with no hands yet, I just stopped moving, let go of both hands, and let my momentum carry me straight cause the road was bumpy and curvy. But eventually I want to bike with no hands. And after that I wanna stop at the bike traffic lights without having to ever touch the ground with my feet. Need to work on upper body strength though, I know I can't hold myself up for long without leaning on the handlebars for support.

Heck, I tip over while WALKING, my balance sucks.

One of the songs me and Frank danced to at prom (some hiphop song with spurts of repetitive beats that made for interesting dance potential) was playing full blast in the room upstairs. I remember that song specifically... it seemed to last awhile when we were on the dance floor, as if time slowed down and the moment was a continuous blur that never ended. Like that feeling you get when listening to techno music.

When they announced congratulations to the class of 2004, it didn't feel exciting as it should've been... It was a sad moment, really. I don't know how Frank was feeling, but we musta been on the same wavelength or something, cause as soon as everyone else started cheering, we just quietly kissed for a long time.

We were the first people on the dance floor, too. And we were being stupid but whatever, WE WERE THE FIRST PEOPLE ON THE FUCKING DANCE FLOOR.

I'm tempted to put up prom pictures. The funny thing is we don't have a single "good" one. I mean, all of our pictures are good cause they make me happy to look at them... but all our prom pictures were extremely unflattering. Somehow we both ended up with double chins and beady eyes. It actually doesn't bother me though.

I didn't want to wait for the 10:48 PM bus, so I ran a few blocks up the street and caught the 10:10 bus from the Memorial Union. Apparently I have not been kidnapped. I was, however, approached by somebody who went out of his way to accompany me all the way down the street before asking me for my number. I quickly gave it and ran to the buses thinking it was for academic-related purposes... then I thought about it, and, I guess, it wasn't.

I wanted you to know
That I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high
And steal your pain away

"Broken"
Seether feat. Amy Lee

I finally listened to the lyrics to that song... mmm.

I'm wearing the size XL bright orange goomba "You Lose" t-shirt. Maybe if I wear it a lot I can make it really smell like me, but then I don't want to make it stink. If you get my drift. Which none of you should, except for Frank.

There's a lot of things floating around my head right now, a lot of things bothering me... but I don't really wanna think about them. =(

----> Okay, 4 hours later I realized I never submitted this post. I am back from two back-to-back music classes, and... my MUSIC 6A professor is so awesome. He's funny. The class was extremely fast-moving, though. =( It was a review lesson, so lucky I already learned most of that stuff in elementary school. I hope it's not like that for the rest of the chapters though, otherwise I'll fall behind VERY fast. >>:

What's wrong with my tongue?
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble
Like I've got nothing to say

Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it

If I could say what I wanna say,
I say I wanna blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?

If I could say what I wanna see,
I wanna see you go down with me
Marry me today
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

"Things I'll Never Say"
Avril Lavigne

I are going home today!

I have two music classes in an hour... oooohhhh god I'm so excited. I HEART MUSIC. Since class doesn't start until 11 I've been sleeping in and lazing around my dorm room.

English kinda killed my hopes for a happy year last night... had to compensate somewhere, eh? I hate English. I didn't mind studying chemistry and doing notes for that, but English, oh god.